May 31

Well, my auntie will go back o their home, after settling the things, then my dear sister wants to go in our Province(Bulacan) for 1 week, but my father would not allow her if im not going to., but I dont want to go, so my dear sister is crying, then when we called again our father, he asked me to go with them for only 1 week, but I dont really want to go there, and also he asks me that if I go he will give me a bonus(damn! but I dont care about the bonus., I dont really care eventhough he will not give me a bonus) (because there is a reason but I dont want them to know it.) , and then later on my moher is talking to my father to let my dear sister go with them, and my father said, "It's up to you".,then they go.

and now, im scared, im really scared, im scared because, what if my father would get mad at me or will be sad, because of that,( should I tell why.,the reason that I dont want to go, but I dont want to., )and when im thinking of my father's sad face or mad face, (im crying) (here's my thought and the scene that I imagine)

Father: oh! why you're not with them?
Me: Im sorry, but I don't really really want to go.
Father: Im dissapointed, I only want you to be with her, because it will be also a good chance to her to recover., but now, *sighs*, I think I don't want to be with you, notice you, unless your sister comes.
Me: Okey :( , if that is your wish. :( )
*crying*

hmm .. I feel BAD !!!!!!! very very BAD !
and I feel lonely too, knowing that my father can do that to me.

May 30

Hmm... My auntie will be here today, because my mother said that, one of my mother's friend will give my auntie a work., and also she will sleep here .. :)

:( Im so sad now. and after posting it .. I would not play, to surf internet or hanging out and chatting with my friends...
because , I thought my Father is not sad or angry when im buying a Cd's and now my mother tell it to me but my father wouldn't tell it to me because he know that we will feel sad .. and now that I know(because ym mother tell it to me), I feel sad because I thought that when Im watching it, sometimes together with him. I thought he's happy watching it with me. but not. and now, I wouldn't buy anymore Cd's. haixt .. How I wish I just had not found. :(

May 24

amfp !!! The Cd I like was postponed. Jeez ! I thought that I can watch it already .. hahaixt !!, :*(
but it's ok ... My mother said I will buy it tomorrow ...
yesterday, I buy clothes ... but not Cd ..
hmm ... and also, today, I will study today a Japanese Language .. :))
because I want to communicate with them through their own language
and I know someday that I can use it, for the course that I want. ( to be an International Flight Attendant ) .... :)

I made this ... May 23

MAY 23

hmm .... if yesterday .. im sad .. , not today !! today im happy !!
because my mother would buy me a cd (it's either an anime or japanese, korean, or taiwanese cd)..^_^ .... because I really really love to watch that !! :) and I am collecting it .. xD
MAY 23, 2010

MAY 22

Haixt ... I think this DAY (May 22,2010) is one of the worst, for me.
My Mother is shouting me without a reason. duh! I think I dont deserve that., because I didn't do anything to make her mad at me. :(

Now, I know the reason why !
She said that some of her things was missing,
and she thought that I am the culprit in the loss of her using,
and it makes me sad.

Then, we search it, and we found it under the bed ...
MAY 22, 2010